Acceptable Substitutions:

I wound up fucking off the yoga two days in a row... but, hear me out. I think I'm actually justified in this. (this time, anyway)

A significant portion of my yoga poses are designed to strengthen me where I become the most fatigued during/after some seriously hot sex.

Okay... so, I had an intimate encounter last night. Zero fatigue both during and after.

This morning I accidentally slept in by about 30 minutes, and then coffee and I were slow going because I was responding to messages and updating my private journal and my other blog with a great deal of information.

I was still about to *start* the yoga before 11 am. And that's my rule. I try to be DONE by 11 am, but on slow mornings it's okay if I at least start it by 11.

At 10:45 I received an important phone call. Someone who means more to me than the yoga itself. Someone worthy of taking my time away from my usual routine. As we talked I paced up and down my hallway and during the course of our conversation, my Fitbit signaled that I'd reached my step goal for the day.

Okay, so, technically I DID exercise. Both last night and this morning. So, I'm letting the yoga go for another day. I still feel a little 'off/guilty' about it. But I'm sure I'll be able to let that go soon enough.

Unfuck Yourself:

Happy Solstice!!

I have some pretty impressive news.

For quite some time now I've been tracking my daily productivity with a personal metrics website. It's great because it gives me an 'at a glance' view of how I’m spending my time. (daytum.com, for anyone who's interested).

One of my charts is a pie of 'Work Life Balance'. Work is productive time like writing or research. Even blogging counts as 'work' because I'm writing 'something'.

After the most recent breakdown, when all my regular coping mechanisms starting failing one by one, the biggest slice of pie was 'Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself'. There were times when that section was almost half of the pie. I was THAT broken.

Over the last two months, that section has been gradually getting smaller and smaller as more of my coping mechanisms began to reboot and come back online.

*smile* as of yesterday, 'Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself' was the second largest. My current largest wedge is 'Writing  / Blogging'.  *even bigger smile*

Fuck yeah…

It's good to be back. 

Thank you friends...

Every once in awhile I just go into hiding.

When there's something I need to work through, I go through these phases where I don't talk to anyone on Facebook and I don't blog... I don't tweet. I just go completely radio silent.

However, I kept thinking about some people that I knew I should check in on, just to let them know how I'm doing. Check in's were made. I also figured a blog update is well overdue.

I wanted to let people know that I'm writing again.

Unfortunately, my main writing blog was moved to a different domain, and there's been some financial hardship, so the domain hasn't been renewed yet. It will be soon.

Writing again has been a huge stepping stone.

When I was going through all the drama, writing as a form of therapy began to fail me. Even though I was still keeping up with my daily private journal, none of this was making it to any form of public setting.

I descended into just yarn and game therapies.

I've been working through my pain, though. I've been on a dating site and I've been making new friends (and lovers). One of them read everything I've written so far on my current work in progress and his enthusiasm to read more just made me want to write a LOT more. *smile* I totally admit it. I wrote more just to impress him. Heh... it worked.

Anyway... what impressed me about yesterday is how many people checked in once I made that blog post. Friends who I never expected to be thinking about me. But they tapped in anyway.

I don't know why, but it always surprises me that I touch so many lives when I'm active. It makes me feel good to know that even when I'm gone. I'm not forgotten.