Acceptable Substitutions:

I wound up fucking off the yoga two days in a row... but, hear me out. I think I'm actually justified in this. (this time, anyway)

A significant portion of my yoga poses are designed to strengthen me where I become the most fatigued during/after some seriously hot sex.

Okay... so, I had an intimate encounter last night. Zero fatigue both during and after.

This morning I accidentally slept in by about 30 minutes, and then coffee and I were slow going because I was responding to messages and updating my private journal and my other blog with a great deal of information.

I was still about to *start* the yoga before 11 am. And that's my rule. I try to be DONE by 11 am, but on slow mornings it's okay if I at least start it by 11.

At 10:45 I received an important phone call. Someone who means more to me than the yoga itself. Someone worthy of taking my time away from my usual routine. As we talked I paced up and down my hallway and during the course of our conversation, my Fitbit signaled that I'd reached my step goal for the day.

Okay, so, technically I DID exercise. Both last night and this morning. So, I'm letting the yoga go for another day. I still feel a little 'off/guilty' about it. But I'm sure I'll be able to let that go soon enough.

No Fate But What We Make...

Thank you, Sarah 
for your courage

during the dark years

I cannot help you 

with what you soon

must face

Except to say that

the future is not set

You must be stronger

than you imagine 

you can be

You must survive

Or I will never

Exist

Every morning I write the words 'NO FATE' on my arm. This is a part of my daily ritual. This is how I remind myself, every morning, that the future is not set. This is how I survive. By reminding myself that even if all, current, potential outcomes seem grim... all it takes is one chance encounter to change a girls life. Forever.

At any given moment, some love struck super soldier from the future might decide to make a difference.

It doesn't make things suck any less...

But it helps me to remain resilient to the suck.

Bad ass in training... a recovery update.

Things turned to total shit in June. I went into hiding.

I'm mostly okay now. There have been big changes.

One of my goals for recovery was to eventually take up the martial arts. But, with my health issues, this is a problem.

One: Blood thinners. I will only be able to learn movements and forms. I will never be able to spar with a partner because a single hit could result in either internal bleeding or another blood clot.

Two: My non-specific chronic inflammatory condition that had me 100% sedentary for a really long time.

So, the first step here is just to get my body accustomed to movement. I'm happy to report that I'm doing exceptionally well with this.

I've been doing yoga every morning.  :)

I mix movements from my yoga deck and do them along with some of the Mindful Yoga routines done by Corey Roos of White Cloud Wellness.

I don't follow Corey exactly. I don't listen to the mindfulness training while I'm doing the poses. I listen to heavy metal, LOL.

Yeah, you heard me right.

I listen to the Metal Goddesses playlist on Spotify.

So far everyone from Corey himself down to my therapist thinks it's awesome that I listen to heavy metal while I do my morning yoga.

*shrug* what can I say. It's like my way of meditation, Knitting while watching horror movies. This is the part of me that is pure shadow. I can't do anything self-improvement wise that isn't equally made of light and dark like me.

Hey, it works.

So, anyway...




It used to take so much work to motivate me to do the yoga. Now my whole day is shot if I don't. So, that's a good thing.

--

I'm also writing again!!

Current work in progress is about a part succubus girl and a male siren. A lot of it is available to read and critique on if anyone is interested.